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The Anti-Brochure Series
The Processor Scoreboard
Independent 0-100 ratings for the credit card processors handling America’s small-business revenue, built exclusively on the documented record: lawsuits, settlements, complaint files, fee specimens, and the companies’ own responses. No processor pays to be here. No processor can pay to leave.
Every score calculated under the published weAudit Rating Methodology · Sorted by score, lowest first · Last updated July 2026
Below 60: documented record warranting extreme caution 60-69: documented pattern of merchant-hostile practices Not scored: special dossier
The Board · 25 Ratings + 4 Dossiers
Click any company for the full documented profile
Each profile carries the evidence behind every point deducted: case numbers, settlement amounts, statement specimens, and the exact steps to take if you process with them today.
34/ 100 CardConnect Settled for $7.65 million with court-ordered fee limits, then sued for allegedly ignoring them. Read the rating → 37/ 100 EVO Payments Federal complaints named the fee codes: PASSTHRU, APF, NABU. Our own audit found $134,689.38 on its rails. Read the rating → 41/ 100 Paysafe Its own response conceded $9,001 in fees on a dead account, and it billed an exit fee to a merchant it fired. Read the rating → 43/ 100 Fiserv Three across-the-board rate increases in nine months, and securities suits over the forced Clover migration. Read the rating → 44/ 100 MerchantE Rates documented growing to 5-7% of every sale, and a $500 fee quoted to make it stop. Read the rating → 48/ 100 Worldpay A $52 million overbilling settlement behind it, and new fee changes weeks after its latest sale closed. Read the rating → 49/ 100 Global Payments A junk-fee class action at Heartland, and a documented $22,663.48 “courtesy credit” that speaks for itself. Read the rating → 49/ 100 PNC Merchant Services A $14.5 million settlement over fees, in a suit alleging new customers were opted out of itemized statements. Read the rating → 50/ 100 TSYS A $53 million FTC matter in its history, and its own filings describing fee growth as a revenue driver. Read the rating → 51/ 100 Elavon Sued a family restaurant over a breach its own forensics never found, and billed $879.92 under the code SLVR STD. Read the rating → 51/ 100 Priority Payment Systems Reps can sign you but are “not authorized” to close your account, and the documented exit can end in collections. Read the rating → 53/ 100 Wells Fargo Merchant Services A $40 million fee settlement whose court-ordered fixes mark exactly where the complaint said the harm lived. Read the rating → 53/ 100 Shift4 An A+ rating around a one-star record, and fee games our own monthly audits of an NFL client keep catching. Read the rating → 53/ 100 Stax A membership fee our audit files price above pure interchange-plus, and a documented refusal to prove the bill. Read the rating → 55/ 100 Paya A 15-minute approval that defers real underwriting, and a canceled account billed a year under a descriptor naming nobody. Read the rating → 56/ 100 Clearent by Xplor A clean legal record, 9 of 25 points on fees, and a processor sold through your software’s locked door. Read the rating → 58/ 100 QuickBooks Payments (Intuit) The fund-hold evidence lives on Intuit’s own forum: $36K, $47K, 180 days, and class actions recruiting in the threads. Read the rating → 58/ 100 Braintree (PayPal) The cleanest contract on the board, a 50-60 basis point flat-rate premium, and funds frozen a year after disputes were won. Read the rating → 60/ 100 Bank of America Merchant Services Two eras, one lesson: the legacy paper’s two-contract trap, and a reformed model that still deserves an audit. Read the rating → 60/ 100 Square (Block) You don’t have a merchant account. Square does. And the flat rate hides the interchange on every single swipe. Read the rating → 60/ 100 Versapay A rate-optimization brand that, in our own audit files, raised client fees 30 basis points and held firm. Read the rating → 61/ 100 Stripe In one documented case, the account closed in days, the hold ran months, and the only money that moved was Stripe’s fee. Read the rating → 61/ 100 CyberSource Visa’s own gateway: no published prices, no BBB profile of its own, and merchants documented auto-enrolled in processing they didn’t choose. Read the rating → 62/ 100 Chase Paymentech Interchange billed under internal codes that prevent validation. Your largest expense, unverifiable by design. Read the rating → 64/ 100 Helcim Published rates, premium prices. A payment facilitator on Elavon’s rails, and no way to bring a data-enhanced gateway. Read the rating → NOT
SCORED
FIS No longer in merchant processing. The dossier explains where your account went, and whose paper you’re on now. Read the dossier →
NOT
SCORED
Vantiv Dissolved into Worldpay in 2018. The dossier traces five owners and tells legacy merchants whose paper they’re on. Read the dossier →
SEE:
44
Merchant e-Solutions Rebranded as MerchantE. Same company, same paper; this dossier routes legacy merchants to the full rating. Read the dossier →
NOT
SCORED
Cielo Brazil’s largest processor owned MerchantE for a decade, then went home. The dossier maps where its US merchants landed. Read the dossier →
SPECIAL
REPORT
The Merchants Are the Merchandise What a buyer actually buys when a processor is sold, and why every ownership change should send you to your statement. Read the report →
READER
GUIDE
My Processor Rating Is Missing Thousands of ISOs and agents call themselves processors. How to read the footer disclosure and find who is really behind your account. Read the guide →
Their record is on this board. Your money is on your statement.
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